You Might Be a Redneck if ...

You Might Be a Redneck if ...

Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.

You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You've been too drunk to fish.

You've ever used a weedeater indoors.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.

When a sign that says "Say No To Crack!" reminds you to pull up your jeans.

You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

If your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand...

If You have Pabst Blue Ribbon on tap in your bathroom...

If you made a homemade hot-tub with a trolling motor...

If the crack in your windshield is longer than your arm and has been for more than a year...

If you've ever taken a beer to a job interview...

If the fountain at your wedding spewed beer instead of champagne...

If you think the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

If truckers tell your wife to watch her language...

If your idea of surfing is a railroad tie pulled behind a Dodge Ram.

If you've ever left Santa Claus a PBR and a Slim Jim...

If your parrot can say, "Open up! It's the police!"

If your car stereo costs more than your car.

If taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

If you keep catfish in your aquarium.

If you own a home that's mobile and five cars that aren't.

If you burn your front yard rather than mow it.

If you've ever hit a deer with your car on purpose.

If you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

If your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.

If you can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.

If people hear your car a long time before they see it.

If you use the "O" on the stop sign in front of your house to sight your new rifle.

If you take a fishing pole into Sea World.

If you think tractor pull is the sport of the 21st century.

If you think the South should once again secede from the Union.

If you've ever played poker until 4:30 in the morning.

If you've ever stolen a town's "Welcome to..." sign.

If you sit around and talk about the great taste of PBR.

If you've ever been arrested for DUI and your family buys extra copies.

If you slam the door on your truck and your shotgun creates an instant sunroof...